Shampoo
by seinooo.kcvii
Summary: ReTi, oneshot, for The Sacred and Profane.


Okay, fine. The word bathroom did trigger some interesting ideas in my head.

I had numbers ranging from one to five. xD

I tackled no. 4 but I'm not confident with it because I'm not really satisfied. The ending's sweet though… So I ended up with no. 2. Oh, and the timeline style isn't originally mine.

For The Sacred and Profane,

**Shampoo

* * *

  
**

5.45 a.m.

The phone rang.

5.46 a.m.

The phone was still ringing.

5.48 a.m.

Even now. _Oh_, it redialed.

5.50 a.m.

And nobody picked it up yet. _How important could it be—_ "Reno, could you please get it?" Tifa called from the bathroom. Her voice was somewhat dissolved by the running water. He groaned. _How can she get all that energy after the little act on bed not too long ago?_ He felt like sleeping.

Yeah, …sleeping. Slee…

Ring.

_Can't the phone just explode?_

Ring.

_That's it. _

Reno got up and reached out for the receiver beside his head. Though he was annoyed, he answered in a way he had always loved to try someday and he did.

A different language.

"Allo?"

"Eh?" _Yuffie_, he thought. _What does she want?_

"Crap. Sorreee! I got the wrong number!" Click. Tuut, tuut. Reno smirked to himself before placing the receiver back, in a lopsided way.

_Whoa, that worked better than the planned 'Pizza dude'._ A trick he had yet to try on Tseng. Or Elena, with the help of voice disguise machine—thing. Now that's that, he thought he would continue snoozing…

6.00 a.m.

"Aah!" Tifa yelled.

_Shit, what now?_ He jerked up and headed to the bathroom and the door suddenly slammed his nose. And a slap.

_Ouch._

How long has it been since Tifa Lockhart had slapped him? Though, it didn't manage to wake him up.

6.02 a.m.

He was still feeling groggy from the sleep and slap. Everything that bulleted out of her mouth wasn't really hammering his head in any particular way so he just nodded to whatever it was. He noticed she was swinging her toothbrush, though. Apparently she's talking about mustard, onion sauce, her shampoo, and refills.

6.03 a.m.

He was nodding back to sleep. _Wonder if Teef's realizing I can't even…hear…_

_Sleep mode, turn on._

Black.

6.05 a.m.

"Reno," she called him, exasperated. She was poking his side.

_Wake._

She had noticed he was sleeping…while standing up. At the doorway of the bathroom (slightly leaning at the frame. He'd have to be a god to be completely still and not to fall over). How awesome was that?

"Uh…Yeah?" She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Just…go back to sleep if you feel inclined to. I'm talking to a wall," she muttered. He nodded and shuffled back to the comforts of bed. And sleep.

* * *

7.59 a.m.

No alarm. Tifa had turned it off for him. He feel loved all of a sudden, though his nose still hurt. _Ah heck, I'll apologize to her…about whatever it was… Bathroom, I guess._ Reno smelled breakfast and instantly his mouth watered. Tifa's meals were one of his favorite things on Gaia. Of course, number one would be her sole existence.

After staring at the ceiling for who knows how long, he decided his stomach was really churning his insides and sat up, stretching. He was topless as he descended down the stairs. The bar was spotlessly clean as expected from his wife. After kissing her good morning, he ate his breakfast, enjoying her happy face more than the food.

_Heaven in Seventh Heaven._

Grinning, he thought he could associate much more things in that category.

8.30 a.m.

"What's the call earlier about?" Tifa asked, munching on some slices of fruit.

"…Yuffie. Scared her away, though," he told her. "Probably her latest loots." He offered to help to wash the dishes but she declined, giving him one of her smiles. Something was a bit off with that picture though.

"Now go get cleaned up. There's a warm bath ready for you if you hate the cold shower. I'll be making cupcakes for Marlene."

His heart swelled and he couldn't help to almost squeeze her breathless. Maybe my lucky day, he thought. "Thanks, babe, I mean it. I love you." He ran upstairs, leaving her wear a guilty smile. She sighed, taking out the chocolate to melt. She stirred it and tasted it, still hearing what Reno said just now in her head.

"Oh dear. Now I feel guilty."

Slowly, she made her way up while still in her apron.

* * *

8.35 a.m.

Inside the bathroom, Reno noticed something. Yes, the bath was warm and still there and Tifa had kindly brought forth the bubbles. His shampoo was moved from the usual position by four millimeters.

_Someone's playing with my shampoo. Ah, who cares?_

He squeezed it directly to his head and began massaging—and it smelled different. Sniffing his hand, he recognized the smell anywhere. It's his body shampoo. Pulling the cap off from another bottle, he found his shampoo there. _Clever_. The two were switched.

Now the only culprit would be Tifa Lockhart.

But he didn't remember what he did to make her do that. He rinsed his hands and continued to stare at the bottles.

8.36 a.m.

Tifa Lockhart had pushed the door open, breathing heavily. Her other hand was caked with chocolate. She saw Reno, holding the two bottles in his hand and his hair half lathered with _not_ his shampoo.

"Oh, Reno, I'm sorry, I—" He grabbed her clean hand.

"Someone's been naughty, eh?" Tifa tugged her hand away and started poking him, not missing.

"Well, if you hadn't filled my shampoo with the toothpaste, I wouldn't do this to yo—ah!"

_Toothpaste_. That certainly rang a bell. He had filled it with toothpaste last night. He evaded the last jab and sent her falling into the tub behind him.

Splash!

A hand rose and pulled him down to her.

_Ah, shit._

8.38 a.m.

She was currently blowing bubbles on top of his head, giggling. "Sorry," he muttered and she gave him a smile. She stood up, dripping wet from top to bottom.

"I'm sorry too. I'm all wet. I have cupcakes to make." He grabbed her chocolate-smeared hand.

"Don't I get to taste it beforehand?" She raised an eyebrow at him. Ignoring her, he began to flick his tongue around her palm and fingers, teasing her—and leaving her pressing against him and panting for more. He smirked.

"Naughty girl," he commented. She splashed water at his front. "The chocolate's just right, though."

"You made me. You will not have the first cupcake if this—ah…"

He assaulted her hand again.


End file.
